Happy Sad Happy

I wasn't planning on posting today, but I just need to get this out there. Plus, I know I'll have much to say after this week and this will be a little preface to that.

I should actually be finishing laundry and packing right now. We are leaving this afternoon {hopefully} to head up to Northern California. We moved to Southern California a little over 2 years ago so we make this trip a few times a year.  My kids especially love going up during the summer because my parents house is summer heaven for them.  There's a pool with huge rocks to jump off of and an outdoor kitchen with a pool table and flat screen t.v.  Why would they ever want to leave?

For this, I am happy.  We will spend time with family that we see far less than we should. Eat junk food that will make me cringe when I try to button my jeans. Get sun burned in the 110 degree temps. Listen to great music. Dance late into the night.

Happy. Happy.

We will also be spending our last 4th of July at my Grammy's house.  She passed away in April, which completely rocked my world.  I actually wrote about it right after it happened but haven't shared it yet. Just waiting for the right time.

Anyways.

For this, I am sad.

We spent many 4th of Julys there. Fishing, eating, playing cards, sitting on the boat to watch the fireworks over the lake, making homemade ice cream.  This will be the last time.  It makes me sick. It literally makes my stomach hurt. I don't want to go through it.

I know we'll make new 4th of July memories. I know my kids will always love the holiday no matter where we are. But this sucks. I don't like the death part of life. I don't like the end of eras. I hate that this is the last time I'll EVER be at my grammy's house.

But, life is good. We will have fun. We will laugh. We will cry. I will be a hot mess. And for this, I am happy.

Happy. Sad. Happy.

Now, I need to go pack! What makes you happy sad happy?